I find that I don’t go to the cinema quite as often as I used to. I think there are a million and one reasons for this, one of which is the ever-decreasing window between cinema release and DVD release. Anyway, I got into a discussion on a forum that I sometimes hang out on regarding nutters in cinemas. I remembered the following incident, and might as well share it with you guys too.

My favourite lunatic recently was The Man Who Liked To Go ‘Raaaggghhh’ who attended a first-weekend screening of King Kong at the Odeon Southend Victoria.

Upon entering the cinema, we heard someone go ‘Raaaggghhh’. We expected this to be a teenager, and hoped it was a single incident. Moments later, we heard another ‘Raaaggghhh’ from the same source, and realised that this was likely to be a theme for the evening. As our eyes adjusted to the darkness, we realised that The Man Who Liked To Go ‘Raaaggghhh’ was in fact bespectacled, in his fifties and sitting with someone who was presumably his wife.

A few Raaaggghhhs down the line, (when it comes to Raaaggghhhs, a little goes a long way), and a guy in the row in front of us wandered over to The Man Who Liked To Go ‘Raaaggghhh’ and asked him fairly politely if he wouldn’t mind ceasing any and all roaring activity for the following three hours or so. TMWLTGR clearly sat and thought about this for some time, then wandered back over to the guy in question and asked if he could discuss the matter further with him. Both men went out into the lobby for five minutes or so. When they returned, the guy in front of us was shaking his head sadly. TMWLTGR returned to his seat and recommenced going ‘Raaaggghhh’ at fairly regular intervals.

At this point, (around the time that the film was starting), two ushers decided that now was a good time to confront TMWLTGR regarding his roaring activities and the potention cessation thereof. At this point, TMWLTGR began to protest very loudly indeed that his wife had been ‘looking forward to this for weeks’. Whether she had been looking forward solely to the movie or specifically to her husband going ‘Raaaggghhh’ throughout said movie was unclear.

But something wonderful happened. The ushers told him that if he couldn’t bring himself to stop roaring he’d have to leave the cinema. And without another word, he left. Taking his wife, (despite the fact that she’d been ‘looking forward to this for weeks’), with him.

Perhaps it was only the roaring that she’d been looking forward to, and at the end of the day the movie was largely irrelevant and their evening was unspoiled. The romantic part of me rather hopes so.

I should probably point out, (in case folks feel that I’m being somewhat unkind to TMWLTGR in the telling of this tale), that the Raaaggghhhs were clearly not a ‘tic’ or something that TMWLTGR couldn’t actually help doing. They were pre-meditated, targeted at specific patrons and seemed to bring TMWLTGR great joy. He seemed genuinely hurt that others didn’t share his enthusiasm.

2 Replies to “TMWLTGR”

  1. That is most definitely the funniest thing I’ve heard all day. Thanks for sharing that. Perhaps Andy Serkis should be worried about his future employment prospects…

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